Old Clothes, Dandelions, and Dumpster Diving

Over the past few years I have amassed quite a collection of almost-worn-out clothes. I have squirreled these away in my basement in case I am ever so impoverished that I can't afford to buy clothes at all (right now I am mainly obtaining clothing from thrift stores and free boxes/curb surfing, and adding items only when I feel that I really need them.) I figured maybe I shouldn't throw them away just yet- there may come a time when I will need them: either I won't be able to work, won't be able to find work, can't get adequate assistance, etc.

A variation on this theme is Eating Dandelions from the Yard. A few years ago I began to start preparing for Total Economic Collapse. I read all kinds of books about identifying edible wild plants, canning vegetables, seed saving, establishing permaculture, etc., and I put a great deal of this knowledge into practice, for example, raising chickens, fruit trees, and vegetable gardening. Now, a lot of this is just plain fun; in fact, permaculture, sustainable living, and frugal living have become quite fashionable in recent years. It's possible to garden quite cheaply, or quite expensively, depending on how one chooses to do it.

I also got into Dumpster Diving and Curb Surfing. You have to be careful with this, or you can actually end up with more stuff than you really need. Once we found an incredible dumpster in an affluent area of town. This dumpster was full of designer clothes, brand-new linens, pots and pans, fancy shampoos and soaps, and more. We filled our car with as much stuff as it could hold, and took it to a local group for homeless people.

One of my favorite frugal living tips is that whenever I'm tempted to buy something, I ask myself  "How many hours of work would it take to buy this?" Needless to say, this is a great incentive to put the item back on the shelf.

Don't Talk To Me

This classic song by GG Allin just cheered me up.

Dealing With Difficult People

When I was at U. S. Worst Telecommunications, I attended a seminar by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner, Dealing With Difficult People. I just found a slideshow from this presentation-click on the previous link to go there.

Obviously I need to review this material!

Social Phobia, Anxiety, and Ergophobia

My therapist suggested that I set aside 15 minutes a day for worrying, and to postpone any potential worries until that scheduled worry time. Well, I wasn't able to do that today.

Today someone was rude to me at my volunteer job and it totally shot my day to hell. For the entire rest of the day, I was unable to relax or enjoy my usual activities. I spent most of my day wondering why I react this way, whether I will ever be able to comfortably interact in regular everyday social situations, whether maybe I really don't like most people after all and I should just go back to being a hermit, etc., etc. It's time for bed, and I'm still up feeling all agitated. My back muscles are so tight that even shifting positions in my chair hurts.

I am so tired of this. I realize that I am making progress: I go out in public, I volunteer, I go to support groups, I see friends occasionally. I'm able to drive across town. I even got a part-time temp job- finally- and I start tomorrow.  (I'll tell more about that sometime, maybe.) I'm just not making enough progress to achieve my idea of what a somewhat normal life would look like for me.

There were times in my life, maybe 15 or 20 years ago, when I could just think that people were bozos and then I could move on. Why can't I do that any more? It almost seems like I had a certain amount of capacity to deal with social unpleasantness, and I have exhausted the entire amount of capability I had- I exceeded my lifetime limit, and it's just plain gone. That's how it feels.

Today I was worrying about how I can ever hold a job successfully if I can't deal with other people evaluating me, or criticizing me, or saying anything that even remotely seems negative, or even looking at me the wrong way. I guess I'll just have to try.