Mean Bosses

I just ran across an article from "Fast Company" suggesting that "Being A Meaner Boss Will Help Your Company--And Make Your Employees Happy". What kind of weirdo would think that?

Here's the link to this depressing article: http://www.fastcompany.com/1830539/why-being-a-meaner-boss-will-help-your-company-and-make-employees-happy?partner=gnews&google_editors_picks=true

There was part of it that rang true, and that was the research concluding that disagreeable people attained greater success in the workplace (success meaning mainly that they make more money- not my definition of success, but many people in our society equate money and material things with success.)

Anxiety Over Volunteering in an Office

I have been volunteering at an animal shelter for the past eight months, working directly with dogs. The shelter needed help in the office with data entry and telephone work, so I volunteered for this.

Now, keep in mind that I've been volunteering there for several months, and I walk past the office area every day that I'm there. It hadn't bothered me at all. I look forward to going to the shelter, and pretty much enjoy every minute I spend there. In fact, it's one of the most fun things I've ever done in my life.

The night before I was going to work in the office, I started feeling weird. I was thinking I wouldn't like it, and thinking that the people in the office probably wouldn't like me. I was worried that maybe I wouldn't be able to do the job anyway, and then maybe I wouldn't like volunteering at the shelter any more.

The next day, I woke up really early and paced around my house nervously. I was worried about every damn thing, whether my clothes were OK, whether I would be able to learn things and remember them, whether I would say the right things, etc., etc. I felt ridiculous about the silly things that I was obsessing about. I sure hoped nobody would notice how nervous I was.

Well, I've done this assignment twice now, for four hours at a stretch, and as far as I know, nothing went wrong. I even got complimented on my performance (I hate that word "performance" in relation to work. Maybe I should think of a different word.)

Yesterday at the shelter office, there a few things that gave me anxious feelings. First of all, the supervisor was wearing a suit to work that day. He usually doesn't, so perhaps he was going somewhere special that day. For all I know, it could have even been a funeral or something. Evidently business suits trigger anxiety in me.

Then, he wanted to introduce me to his boss, who works in a corner office. That made me feel ill at ease too. He seemed like a nice enough person.

This whole experience has made me very aware of my strong desire to be free from these specific types of anxiety, since they are obviously interfering with things I want to do.

Trauma Story

In 2000 I was working at (name of company deleted). I was at the Reception desk in the main front lobby when an employee named Tony came out of the elevator and asked to see the CEO. Tony seemed angry and agitated. Tony had brain cancer and had been out on disability. I remember Tony saying loudly “I need to see the CEO, I need my medical benefits!” Some of the managers came out in the lobby and the next thing I remember is seeing security guards physically dragging Tony into the elevator while he was kicking, hitting, and screaming on the floor. The guards were literally dragging him by the arms and legs. I became faint and sick and went around the corner to my supervisor’s office, told her I had to use the restroom right away, and went in the restroom and threw up. I then asked if I could be excused for the rest of the day since I was nauseated and could not stop crying.