I Liked Rehab Better Than My Job

Which would you prefer:

Going to your job every day for a month?
                or
Going to a locked ward for alcohol/drug rehab for a month?

When I was in my 20's, I preferred the drug/alcohol treatment center to my daily working life. Not just once, but twice. I was working in a call center back then. At the time, I believed that being stoned or high made me better at my job, or at least happier.

I remember how sad and worried I felt when it was time to graduate from treatment and return to my real life. I liked rehab. We got to get up every morning and have a great breakfast together. Then we'd have classes about drugs and alcohol and their effects, therapy groups where everyone told fascinating stories and said all kinds of insightful things about life, and individual counseling sessions. My counselor was this big biker guy from San Francisco who really understood how I felt about things.

We also got to play pool (I was a pretty good pool player at the time, since I spent a lot of time in bars that had pool tables), gin rummy, and poker. I found most of my treatment center buddies to be very entertaining, interesting people. In the evenings we'd make popcorn, and we'd make little hors d'oeuvres out of the individually wrapped bologna and processed cheese slices that were provided in the hallway pantry refrigerators. We had movies to watch, too, like "Rocky" and "Grease".

It was nice of (name of major telecommunications company) to send me there twice. I'm not so sure most companies would be that understanding today.

I had this dawning awareness that your life shouldn't be something you want to escape. If you feel you need to be drunk or high to get through your day, then there's a problem.

I'm still clean and sober today, which is a good thing for me and everyone around me. Ironically enough, I still don't have the job thing figured out yet. It's a puzzle I want to solve. It's a scary challenge I want to overcome.

Herbal & Nutritional Supplements for Anxiety & Depression

I don't want to sound like a commercial, but I've found some herbal and nutritional supplements that are helping me with anxiety and depression.

First off, everything I've tried from the company WishGarden Herbs is fantastic. The stuff I use to help me relax for sleep is called Serious Relaxer. It has wood betony, valerian, hops, wild lettuce (a weed many of us have growing in our yards-aka lettuce opium-I saw some growing there today), and some other herbs. This stuff is amazing. It works for muscle stiffness as well as mental relaxation. I can't say enough for this product. The one I use in the daytime (2 or 3 droppers, twice a day) is called Emotional Ally. I've found it to be very effective. I also purchased the one called Deep Stress - the ingredients look very promising, so I'll soon find out how this one works for me also.

I take 8 fish oil capsules a day, which is reputed to aid with depression, although I started taking it for arthritis pain. It seems to be good for my hair and skin too.

Magnesium and calcium seem to be helping as well.

I take liquid B-12 when I need an energy boost.

My naturopath prescribed a supplement called Deproloft, an herbal/nutraceutical antidepressant. It's made by Thorne Research. It seems to be getting the job done during most of the day and evening. My worst symptoms happen when I first wake up, so recently I've tried to eat something right away, and then take the supplements ASAP. This morning I took the Emotional Ally liquid immediately upon awakening. The second most challenging time of the day is late evening, when I become something of an insomniac. That's when I do the Serious Relaxer.

I haven't had much luck with pharmaceutical antidepressants (most of them made me feel worse instead of better) and I am usually not particularly comfortable dealing with mainstream medicine, so I have gone the naturopathic route. I am fortunate to live near a major naturopathic college which offers excellent medical services at low fees.

HR: Telling People That They're Out of a Job

I gravitated towards the "human" aspect of business: Human Resources, formerly known as Personnel. It seemed that people who worked in HR were helpful, kind souls who would help people decipher their company benefits, help them access training and education, and help them apply for jobs within the company. It seemed like a good direction for me.

Well, to my great dismay, my company then went into the downsizing mode, or as they euphemistically called it, "right-sizing". Getting rid of people. Getting rid of the "fat" and the "dead weight". "Doing more with less" was the motto.

My job turned into a nightmare of telling people they no longer had a job. I had to attempt to help people cope with overwhelming levels of fear and stress. Every day was another day of referring people to the EAP (Employee Assistance Plan), escorting people to the hospital emergency room, getting people into alcohol and drug treatment, calling security when someone was flipping out in the office, etc., etc. The fear and stress became a part of me.

We were told that we were expected to present the company changes and downsizing in a positive light. I couldn't really do that. That would have been a lie. I tried to subtly express with my facial expressions and my voice inflections that I thought it was a mess and an outrage. I believed that then, and I will believe that always.