Two nights ago I had the elevator nightmare again. It woke me up out of a sound sleep. I was so glad to wake up and get out of that dream.
In this dream, I suddenly realized I was in an elevator. There was another person, a stranger, who was also in the elevator. Voices from the outside were yelling, "Don't press any buttons!" just as he was pressing a button. He dashed out and escaped, leaving me alone.
Then I looked around, and the elevator had gotten smaller, and it was a wooden box about 5 feet across and 8 feet high, with only a little spool-like button on the wall. There wasn't much air in there, and I felt like I was suffocating. Then I woke up, thankfully.
These dreams often happen when I am thinking about workplaces a lot, or having negative feelings about them. So I see it as a signal to examine this.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
My Work Hours Increased: 20 Hours a Week
As I have mentioned before, I am working at a temporary/transitional part time job at a non-profit that works with people with mental illness. I will now be working 20 hours a week (at first it was 10, then 15, and now 20.)
It will be interesting to see how this goes. I feel kind of optimistic about it. I like the idea of being able to work and actually be reasonably contented.
My work is mainly data entry, mailings/email, and general office tasks such as updating forms, filing, keeping supplies organized, etc. I've been told I'm doing a great job.
A few times there have been staff meetings (10 people), and I haven't said much, and felt awkward. I don't think I appeared as shy as I felt. Most of the other people weren't saying much either, though; it was mainly the Executive Director talking. I got a slightly queasy stomach which resulted in growling, rumbling sounds that I hoped nobody noticed. That happens to me a lot in group meetings.
There have been times in my life where I managed to express my opinions, whether or not they were similar to other people's opinions. Unfortunately I worry about being rejected on this basis. I know I often think differently from others around me. And I know I really don't get the social "rules"- what do I do about that?
It will be interesting to see how this goes. I feel kind of optimistic about it. I like the idea of being able to work and actually be reasonably contented.
My work is mainly data entry, mailings/email, and general office tasks such as updating forms, filing, keeping supplies organized, etc. I've been told I'm doing a great job.
A few times there have been staff meetings (10 people), and I haven't said much, and felt awkward. I don't think I appeared as shy as I felt. Most of the other people weren't saying much either, though; it was mainly the Executive Director talking. I got a slightly queasy stomach which resulted in growling, rumbling sounds that I hoped nobody noticed. That happens to me a lot in group meetings.
There have been times in my life where I managed to express my opinions, whether or not they were similar to other people's opinions. Unfortunately I worry about being rejected on this basis. I know I often think differently from others around me. And I know I really don't get the social "rules"- what do I do about that?
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