I gravitated towards the "human" aspect of business: Human Resources, formerly known as Personnel. It seemed that people who worked in HR were helpful, kind souls who would help people decipher their company benefits, help them access training and education, and help them apply for jobs within the company. It seemed like a good direction for me.
Well, to my great dismay, my company then went into the downsizing mode, or as they euphemistically called it, "right-sizing". Getting rid of people. Getting rid of the "fat" and the "dead weight". "Doing more with less" was the motto.
My job turned into a nightmare of telling people they no longer had a job. I had to attempt to help people cope with overwhelming levels of fear and stress. Every day was another day of referring people to the EAP (Employee Assistance Plan), escorting people to the hospital emergency room, getting people into alcohol and drug treatment, calling security when someone was flipping out in the office, etc., etc. The fear and stress became a part of me.
We were told that we were expected to present the company changes and downsizing in a positive light. I couldn't really do that. That would have been a lie. I tried to subtly express with my facial expressions and my voice inflections that I thought it was a mess and an outrage. I believed that then, and I will believe that always.
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