Some of the Things I Have Tried- Part I

I think I was about 19 or 20 when I first became concerned about whether I would be able to acquire paid employment that would make sense for me. I wondered if there were jobs out there in the world in which I could feel like I was living my authentic life and not feel totally alienated or out of place.

I still wonder that today. That feeling never went away. I never found those places.

So now, I find myself semi-retired, but in need of additional income. I need to figure out a way to come up with something that will work for me.

Here are some of the things I have tried in the past:

When I was in my late teens, I discovered that when I performed mindless work and/or purely physical work, my mind was free. I was able to think about anything I wanted to think about.  I liked that. I liked not selling my mind.

When I became a bit older, I began getting the message from people around me that I needed to look for a "better" job, something with "potential", something with higher status that wasn't a "dead end job".

The Phone Company: Since my older sister worked at a large telecommunications company that paid its employees relatively well and offered good benefits, I decided to apply there. I originally applied for janitorial work, since I had found that cleaning jobs afforded me the opportunity to enjoy freedom of thought, and also gave me good physical exercise.

Instead, I was offered the opportunity to apply for call center work. I decided to pursue that. I ended up staying with that company for twenty years. I was miserable most of the time. I kept transferring to different departments and different locations within the corporation, looking for something I might like. I made good money there, but most of the time I was very unhappy. This was a direct result of the work, because my life outside of work tended to be satisfying.

The only work assignment I liked in twenty years there was in Human Resources. I liked answering employee inquiries about HR matters, I liked coordinating training, and I liked the diversity programs. The people I worked with in that department were generally pretty nice, courteous people. That assignment was good for a few years, and then Downsizing arrived.

A normal person would ask "Why didn't you just leave?" That's a good question. I think I felt I was stuck because I was a single parent of a young son, the pay was above average for what I could expect in the job market, and it paid full medical benefits for me and my son.

I needed the medical benefits, because I was frequently having a number of physical ailments, as well as depression and anxiety attacks. I tried a number of different antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications over the years, with varying results.

Next time I'll tell about my experiences with Going Back to College.