Tuesday, September 4, 2012

High Anxiety Because I Applied For a Job

On Friday I applied for a job that I am actually very interested in having.

Since then, I have had a very disturbing constant undercurrent of anxiety as I go about my daily activities. Let's see if I can describe the feelings. First of all, I find myself trying not to think about it, because of the anxiety and negative thoughts that may arise. Despite my attempt to suppress it, I have thoughts pop up constantly like, "I need better interview clothes", "I have no idea what I would say in an interview", "Maybe the job would be too difficult for me", "They probably wouldn't want to hire me", "I'm crazy", etc., etc. Then, I have moments of complete mental blankness, and forgetfulness, more than usual. And then more anxious thoughts of all kinds start to come in: past failures, thoughts and perceptions that may have been inaccurate, thoughts about my various physical ailments and health problems, etc.  It makes me want to shut my brain off entirely.

One thing that helped was watching a YouTube video with a really silly song. It was "Clint Eastwood Talking to a Chair". The silly song got stuck in my head, which crowded out the bad yucky job thoughts.




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